The Thinking Other Woman

What you should know BEFORE your affair.
 

 What You Need to Know 

            Before You Hire an Astrologer 

                    to
Read Your Relationship Chart


So you want to have your chart read with that of your significant other! Comparing charts in a relationship can reveal astonishing information about the two of you, and some of it can be very accurate.


So you want to have your horoscope chart read with that of your significant other? Comparing charts in a relationship can reveal astonishing information about the two of you. In my experience, relationship astrology can be spookily accurate in the hands of a competent astrologer.


As an example, I hired my astrologer, Alice Portman, to look at my birth chart with my man, whom I’ll call Chi, who … almost left his wife. In typing Chi’s birth data to her, I made a mistake, and made the second digit of his birth date a full week later than the actual date.


When she started work, Alice emailed and asked me to check the date. I did, and made the same mistake again. I emailed her that it was correct, and she went ahead and did the work. Then I realized my mistake, emailed her with profuse apologies, and she had to go back and redo everything.


When she made her recording and sent it to me, the first thing she said was that she was bewildered by the first date I sent her. She said she had sat there thinking, “I don’t know how these charts even know each other!” But when I sent her the corrected data, our charts lit up like fireworks. As she worked, Alice kept finding more and more aspects that coincided with one another. Some of these were "harmonics" that gave me a lot of information.


So how does a good astrologer cast a relationship reading, and what can your reading tell you?

The astrologer you hire should look at your chart, your significant other’s chart, and then compare the two in five different ways.


1.)    Usually the astrologer will do synastry first. 


This is a simple comparison of where planets are in your chart vs. where planets are in theirs. Chi and I had so many coinciding aspects in our charts, Alice predicted we'd be attracted like crazy glue. And we were! Other examples: We have my Mars ninety degrees from his Venus, an aspect known as a "square." This can reflect that one partner comes on too strong for the other, which was definitely true for us. We also have my Mars squaring his North Node, associated with star-crossed lovers. Also, sadly, correct. Consider Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: they have the same aspect in their synastry chart.


2.)    Then the astrologer will look at “harmonics.” 


When the astrologer considers everything that aspects each other by 30 degrees in each chart, for example, it’s called the “twelfth harmonic” because 360 (the number of degrees in a circle) is divided by 12 to get 30 degrees. Each harmonic reflects specific things, and the more points in one chart where the other person has a planet in the same place or with a significant angle to it, the more the meeting and the relationship are significant in that person's life. 


Looking at our harmonics, Alice was able to tell me that the relationship was not only very significant in both of our lives, but that it was fated, and that we each showed up to push each other to do certain work in our lives. Chi, for instance, was there specifically to wake me up to childhood issues I had not resolved yet, and part of his job was to hurt me very badly so I would be extremely motivated to find out what they were and resolve them. (Unfortunately for me, Alice sure called her shot on that one.) This kind of information can prepare you for difficulties in the relationship to come.


3.)    The astrologer should do a “composite,” which is a way of combining your two charts into one. 


The most common method is to take the midpoint between the two Suns, the two Moons, the two Venuses, etc. on down the line. Then the astrologer looks at that one chart and compares it to the natal chart of each person. The composite tells you how you’re likely to get along, what parts of the relationship will be easy, and where you may have difficulties. The composite isn't a "real" chart, it's a chart that exists in theory. The astrologer has to correct for some things, and some astrologers feel it isn't correct to do predictive astrology with it. 


4.)    Your astrologer should also know how to cast and interpret a Davison, which is most important. 


The Davison is said to reveal the purpose of the relationship, and suggests the future of the relationship when the astrologer computes transits and progressions to it. If what you want to know most is why a disaster happened with someone, and you have limited funds, have your astrologer cast you a Davison and nothing else. 


Your Davison is created by finding the midpoint your two birthplaces, birth dates, and birth times, and casting a horoscope for that entity. The relationship is treated sort of as a person in this chart, which is considered a real chart. This is how Alice Portman correctly predicted that Chi and I would communicate again two and a half years after our relationship ended. Its best use is to tell you what you are in for should you decide to accept that relationship. 


5.)    Most professional astrologers use software that automatically counts the number of “easy” and “hard” aspects between two charts. When Alice did mine with my late husband’s, we had just about all good aspects and very few bad ones. And I can vouch for the truth of this—he and I were very happy together, and had a very happy relationship overall. Alice kept remarking about what good charts we had, and one of her comments was that it would be hard for me to find a relationship after this one that would come up to this quality. 


When I hired my first astrologer to do Chi’s and mine, I heard none of these steps being followed. I no longer use or recommend this person. Be careful who you hire. You might want to inquire of the professional you are considering what they do for the fee they ask. If you don’t see all of these steps, consider hiring someone else.


What about computerized reports?

To hire a seasoned professional to do this work for you should cost around $250.00. It's generally the best way to get these reports, because you can have a discussion with your astrologer about your situation.


But, you can order computerized versions of all these reports at the Astrodienst website, astro.com. The algorithims on this site choose the most important aspects and compile you a report of what they mean. The interpretations are written by some very good and well-known astrologers, and it saves significant money over hiring an actual person to do the work, in the case where you aren’t finding that affordable. If you don’t have two accurate birth times, dates, and places, however, I wouldn’t spend the money. The data you get out of any astrological reading is only as good as the data you put in.


In studying the astro.com Davisons for several couples I have good information about, I can tell you that the astro.com Davisons, if you can read around some stilted wording, accurately give you both the highest and the worst potentials of the relationship. They tend to concentrate on the highest potentials of the relationship, giving the worst ones short shrift. Don't assume from this that your relationship will be smooth sailing! In the case of my friend, who is still living in a terrible relationship, the good stuff in the Davison just doesn’t apply at all, but the few paragraphs about how it could all go wrong are dead on. 


In the cases like this that I'm familiar with, the reason the couple isn’t reaching their best outcome seems to be that one or both parties just aren’t resolving their own emotional issues. According to their Davison, my friend's relationship had tremendous potential at its outset, but from hearing about it over the years, I can see why only the worst is manifesting. In that case, the problem lies with both of them. 


For any relationship to endure at its best, both people have to be willing to look at themselves, to buckle down, and to do some serious internal work. When they aren't, the worst potential of the Davison manifests, rather than the good things in the report. If you find some bad news in your Davison with your sweetie, ask yourself some serious questions about whether you and your significant other are brave enough to do some difficult work on yourselves, not on the other person.


As I said, Astrodienst Davisons run very heavy on positive potential, so if you get one where half the report is talking about negative potential, forecasts an affair, or mentions several times that you might need to break up, be very, very careful about committing to that relationship.


You Have Been Warned.

                                                                

A New Type of Astrological Reading? 

Basically, what I have done over the past two and a half years is a whole life progression for all three people in my triangle. I have to say that it’s been very, very informative, but I don’t think you’ll find this discussed in any astrological literature, or offered anywhere. That’s because no one I know of will do this! 


Because this process has been so beneficial to me, and I have learned so much, however, I think professional astrologers should consider offering a whole life’s worth of progressions and transits. In the case of this particular relationship triangle, it has been so, so helpful, taught me so, so much, and may save all three of us an awful lot of heartbreak.

It would be tough to hire any astrologer to do this, though, I think, partially because of resistance to the idea that looking longer than two years down the road can be useful, and because of simple economics. 


I’m sure doing the natals, progressions, and relationship horoscopes for the three people in my triangle took me longer than it would a pro just because I’m learning, and I still check myself by looking up others’ interpretations. But professional astrologers, especially busy ones, have dozens to hundreds of clients and can only afford to spend one to two hours on each reading. Digging as deeply as I have has taken me many months. I think it would be cost prohibitive for an astrologer to do that. 


Also, I have a lot of background reading in psychology, which has made the information I uncovered much more meaningful to me, and I had much helpful information regarding each person’s life that I started out with. (Maybe I should become an astrologer instead of a novelist, and invent a new type of reading: the Whole Life Progression!)


Should you elect to pursue astrology to help you resolve a love life issue, good luck, and please comment and let me know how it turns out for you!