The Thinking Other Woman

What you should know BEFORE your affair.
 

BOOMERANG!!

            (Or, How The Charts In This Triangle Explain Why We Were Together.)



Another long page, folks, sorry ...

Giving these two charts, mine and Chi's, a cursory look, they don't appear to overlap. That's because of the way the two charts display. Natal charts are always displayed so that the ascending and descending run in a perfectly horizontal line across the page.

But when we compare charts, we align them so that all the degree marks superimpose perfectly by sign. For instance, if I were going to do a synastry comparison of my chart vs. Chi's, I'd line them up such that 2 degrees Libra in one chart lies over 2 degrees Libra in the other. It's like printing them out on two transparencies and then turning them so the same degrees in each sign lie over each other.

When you do that with our charts, mine turns counterclockwise a little bit. And suddenly (imagine I am the red yod and his is the blue yod), our two yods do this:
Let me do that again, with the planets. Remember that Saturn is the apex of my yod, and Sun + Neptune is the apex of his yod.
Now. Putting everything we've just been over together, remember this?

"2.) (I have seen a couple of astrologers write this one.) If another planet sits in between the two sextile planets, this planet makes the yod a “boomerang yod," and the “boomerang” planet describes what to do to solve the dilemma described by the yod. (What that would look like, is if a fourth planet sat right smack dab in between Uranus and Neptune, up there.)"

In this case, the degrees aren't perfect. They're a degree or two off, just as Chi's Sun and Neptune are in the previous example.

Some astrologers would call this entire website hogwash because of the difference of a degree or two and the lack of exact conjunctions.

I, however, have followed the progress of all three people in this triangle for several years, and I have observed what's described by these inexact not-conjunctions to be absolutely the truth. So, I would ask that these astrologers look to see whether inexact aspects are, in fact, descriptive in real life, and if they are, maybe you can put away your protractor and take good advice where it shows up. Fuck knows I am, because some of this is literally a lifesaver.

Having said that ...


Chi Is My Boomerang ...

As you can see, his Sun + Neptune conjunction is right between my Uranus and Neptune. So, something he does well would solve a conundrum in my life if I myself could learn to do that. If you read relationship books at all, you know that this is often why two people are attracted to one another.

Something in the life is so very difficult for a person to do that they don't believe they can ever do it. But they need to! So they pick someone who does it well, and "ask" that person to do it for them. This has broken up many a marriage, and is one reason Chi and Rory, his wife, weren't working out so well. It was about to be a reason Chi and I wouldn't work, too!

I said previously that Sun conjunct Neptune was the bad guy, here. I'm going to explain that in a bit, but it's also reflecting something good. Any time one planet appears to sit right on top of another in the sky from where we stand on Earth, that's called a conjunction, and any conjunction can manifest positively or negatively. In Chi's life, it's working mostly negatively, sad to say, but when it's positive, the positive aspect of the character it's describing is as follows:

The person is very artistic and can lose themselves easily in a healthy artistic flow. (You know, that state where you're so absorbed in what you're doing that you look up and it's four hours later and you were having such a good time, you wonder where the time went?) Not only that, but it's a basic part of the person's character that this is very relaxing and healing for them, and they actually need to do this. It's their happy place, and in this state they feel transcendent, in contact with something divine, something beyond themselves.

This reflects the positive aspect of a very watery, emotional, dreamy, longing-to-connect side of Chi's character.

Remember the apex of my yod, and all my Saturn squares that talked about the horrible childhood I had? Basically, all those problems in my early life TOOK AWAY MY ABILITY TO DO THIS.

I've spent my first fifty years on this planet wayyy too worried about whether what I did was good enough to impress my distant family members and my BPD mom enough that they would be proud of me, because that was the only way I ever got any nurturing as a child. If they were proud, I was a good little girl, but let anything I did not be what they wanted or liked and I got swatted down like a fly.

I forgot all about who I was or what I liked or wanted, or what would make me happy. All I knew was that it was a matter of life or death that my family approved of what I liked and what I did, and when I got sick of how they acted and cut contact, I just transferred that to other people. If I wrote a novel, would other people notice it? Would other people buy it? Would it make any money? If not, it wasn't good enough to be loved, and neither was I, and I needed to feel ashamed of it and myself.

There's the problem my yod is talking about, as I described in yod pages 1-4, and here is Chi with the answer to it. Find transcendence in artistic work, something he does so very well, and I can be happy leaving the opinions of others behind.

Not only that, but I recall a big transit around 2014 talking about this very problem, and I suspect that writing success, which I do have in transits coming from about age 52 on, will not happen if I don't learn to do this. Because I also have the transits where success doesn't happen, and they sound suspiciously like I'm still relying on the opinions of others for my entire sense of self-worth.


And I'm Chi's Boomerang ...

Now. How does my Saturn, up there, solve a conundrum in Chi's life, were he able to do something I can do, himself?

Well, this entire website is the evidence of that. On every page, you have evidence of the research I've done to try to understand my own emotional problems, and what went wrong in my family to produce them.

Saturn does describe what went wrong in my family, and how fucking screwed up I've been for fifty years because of it, yes, but don't forget:

"Saturn is a measuring stick of the individual’s power of self-determination; it denotes that which can become a permanent part of your conscious self through self-motivated effort. You’re closed off from things you want or need in life until you get a specific task done. (Kind of sounds like why Saturn is the APEX of my yod, right??) You’re supposed to become a good parent to yourself first, then you can help other people."

SEE all this work I've been doing??

IF Chi had my hardworking attitude toward his own codependency, he would be able to solve the problem that's keeping all his relationships from working.

I see that I have distressing emotional problems, and I HIT THE FUCKING BOOKS. I study; I work hard. I don't put myself down because I'm fifty years old and I don't know something yet. I don't get depressed reading about what happened in my family.

To me it's all a huge, fascinating mystery, more absorbing than anything Arthur Conan Doyle or Raymond Chandler ever wrote, and I feel a sense of mastery and want to learn more and more and more.

Unfortunately, Chi has read the same book by Raymond Chandler some five times, but cannot bring himself to read one damned thing about codependency. The last time I questioned him about it, I heard, "That was so depressing. I had to put that book down." Even more unfortunate, Chi has a therapist who's parked him in the back of a support group for four years, where he only gets to talk once every two months or so, and has not addressed the underlying child problems of codependency and low self worth, at all. And I hate to say it, but Chi needs a therapist who will kick his butt if he's ever going to improve.

So, here you can see how, if I incorporated a trait Chi does well, it would solve a huge conundrum in my life, and if he could learn to work the way I've taught myself how to work, he could solve a huge conundrum in his.

Now. In writing this article, I noticed that Chi's wife, Rory, also has a yod. And her yod aspects his yod, too! Only the overlap pattern is different. Instead of:


Their two yods look like this:
I just found this in the course of writing this article, like, ten minutes ago. Clearly it deserves further study, and I'll more than likely write more about it. But, as this series is about his yod, if I do more on these it will be a series called, "Rory's Yod."

I used to doubt whether I had accurately guessed Rory's birth time. However, the chart I have for her is accurately predicting events in her life, and I recently took a solar arc class that went into chart rectification (guessing an individual's birth time from events in their chart), and what I learned there seemed to support it. Now, look at this. I simply can't believe I don't have her birth time pretty darn close, looking at the overlap of these yods.

A cursory examination of the two yod patterns, considering what I know about the relationships and what I see at all the points of each yod, suggests to me that our yod pattern is more compatible than theirs. In another situation, with different planets and points at the yod points, this would not necessarily be the case.

Lastly, I have read some astrologers who do not consider a yod a yod unless all the points on it are planets. Considering the significance of our yods and what they have to teach Chi and me, I would beg to differ with this method of classification.