The Thinking Other Woman

(Note to self: Always save your motherfucking work.)


(stupid website)

Let's try this one more time. 

I was on here writing about what appears to be going on right now as far as I can construe this using evidence, tarot, and astrology. I haven't gone beyond 2025 in this analysis. 

At the moment, there appears to be a Chi and Rory renaissance. I'm told this via tarot, which assures me this person has sworn off me for the moment in favor of someone else. Well ... she's the one with the Jupiter conjunct Venus, and I have been wondering WTF that was doing there for the longest time.


Which just goes to show you there ARE timelines in astrology. The timeline where we got together in 2017 and then had problems would never have ended with this.


However, here we are. I'm assured I won't see this person again until mid-December at the very earliest--this is even according to the New Year's read I pulled for myself this year. After the end of January, I get a warning that I am telling lies or "have lost the theme of my life."

1.) So, first, we should talk about what the theme of my life is. As near as I can figure--and I think the yod talks about this, too--the theme of my life has been that I've been trying to manifest a fairy tale happy ending for myself, because childhood was so, so bad. BUT, I didn't plan that kind of life for myself--which is confusing to me, because we live in a Disneyland culture. Everything in American life is about money and success, which is "sure" to come if only you believe and work hard enough and you're good enough. Yet, I can't get ANYwhere unless and until I get out of this mindset and STOP trying to make my life conform to this narrative. (I might think about our cultural narratives regarding marriage and romantic love in this regard, too!)

The life I'm actually supposed to have isn't much. Yeah, I have SOME transits for success in writing, but they aren't guarantees. I have more for not making it! What I need to do is get on board with that, and stop trying to make a fairy tale, here. I just need to accept I'm just a stupid, fat old woman, who's actually pretty ordinary, and who's going to work and pay bills a few more years and then go to the nursing home and spend my last years there poor and alone. No fairy tale here!

Oddly enough, I am not the only one with this theme. 

Interesting how TWO women with this theme end up with the SAME guy, with a Moon opp Neptune in each relationship ... reflecting a codependent who tries to give everyone what they want, when that isn't necessarily the truth of the relationship.


The other theme is that I'm supposed to be learning how to think I'm an okay person and fine just as I am. Which, sadly, is one reason I've been laughed at and picked on in school, had a mentally ill mother, and been alone most of my life. If I had a consistent person to love me, I would never have learned to do that for myself. I just would have relied on other people instead. So, of course, I could have no other people. Not for very long, anyway.

2,) Now, we come to the other two players in the drah-mah. For drah-mah, it surely is.


He's refused to speak to me one last time and given her one more chance. Rory has two legs here. One describes a person who's made progress. On this leg, she does well enough that he makes his peace and stays for good. With equanimity, at least. I have to say that only a couple of his transits on this leg sound happy. Tarot informs me that whoever this person is with, he's bullshitting them pretty effectively. And, quite likely, himself, as well. Whereas, her transits are giving her a happy summer indeed. 


Basically, he's giving her one more shot. A lot depends this year on how she acts. I couldn't interpret this before, because all those transits for us having a destructive back-and-forth, classic extramarital affair were in the way 2018-2021, and I couldn't figure out WTF this was if he'd left her before then. Hard to imagine this person finding someone new at 67!


Her transits are also warning her about not seeing things the way they really are, a need for emotional fusion with another person that sounds enmeshed and codependent, a "curious blindness" about her own behavior, and a secret justice that is coming about for past behavior. Even on the leg where things work out, one transit points out that this is because she had grown a lot.


That would be news to me, considering the last report I had about her behavior six years ago. Samantha Rodman Whiten writes that women like this find change a lot harder than men, and she was no hard worker the last I heard.


Couple that with what I saw the last time he came sniffing around here. I liked one photo of his, and he's back within one hour? 

Who does that after eight years if they're happy in their marriage??


This, however, is nothing to get excited about. I have only seven transits out of 29 showing me any probability of getting the relationship, and while they're mostly pleasant, there are warnings that I'm attracting a professional patient, and need to evaluate things with a VERY clear eye.


The other transits talk about this "theme" of my life. I either end up still trying to manifest a fairy tale, and very, very upset and badly let down that it didn't happen, or I change what I want to do to something more solid and realistic, a life direction better suited to me.

THIS is why I'm a big fan of looking at super-long-term transits in astrology.

When you look ahead and get, not only concrete advice about what your choices are, but you look even longer-term ahead and see what the consequences are if you don't make the right choice ... Whooo. There is nothing more motivating to get you onto the right fucking path. Staying in Dreamland and being constantly dysphoric because some utopia doesn't materialize is NOT the way to go here. (As an aside ... interestingly enough, what consequences are never talked about in this series of transits for three people? The one where the affair is BAD and leaving The Wife has terrible, terrible consequences. Hm. Good to know that. If he leaves the wife and it doesn't work out, it's because Someone We Know is STILL ALLERGIC TO HARD WORK.)


I am also advised via channeled reading that this person may never come forward to tell me how he feels, that I am just supposed to trust myself regarding what happened here, and that I need to have compassion for this person.


Considering that I'm actually pretty limited in life, that solid and realistic direction better be working and paying bills until I'm too old and sick to do so, and then accepting that I'm going to die alone like my aunt in the same nursing home. Probably the same damn room!


This eventuality had better start looking okay to me right about now.


The whole thing is weird, because come 2027, her transits are heavily weighted toward being unhappy. A whopping 25 out of 33 talk about her being LEFT. Even out of the few left, not all of them describe a person happy in her life. 

So, the Chi and Rory renaissance has a good chance of turning out unhappy. But, then again, we've got two people here who don't like work and don't want to do anything hard. He's taken forty years of shit off this person and it has never been enough to make him leave yet.


My best advice is to keep in mind that I won't hear from him the rest of this year. IF I did, it would be January at the very earliest, and if I do, it ain't the fairy tale. I need to be on the lookout for problems and just go on writing my novel and organizing life around that. Putting any eggs in his basket would be a mistake, indeed. What we've done is basically bypass the back-and-forthing phase of the third-party relationship. But, even if he should choose to leave, we haven't bypassed all the problems, as I have just had a crash course in what those are via the Great Peabody Disaster I just wrote about in the previous post.


I was warned back in 2017 that I am NOT in control of how things turn out, and that I am an emotional child. See all that stuff up there about the yod? ::nods:: 


What's going to happen is what's going to happen. There's pressure on this person to get out, but there's also pressure to stay ... WAY too much pressure to stay. Even the tarot readings keep mentioning FAMILY as a big problem. Usually this person bows to the pressure of FAMILY. A lot depends on her. Yet this is a person who hasn't shown herself to be very dependable in the relationship department.


Hasn't stopped him from hanging on before.


You know, going back and rereading all those notes I made when I started this analysis back in 2016, it is amazing the excellent advice I got in the astrology back then. The trouble is, when you really believe the world works the way you think it should, it's very hard to be told, "You're an emotional child who is trying to make the world into Disneyland," and understand exactly how and precisely what that means. Especially when the outlook for your remaining life is fairly grim, and you don't want to accept that this is what your life really is. The thing is, she's an emotional child, too--both of us because of a bad childhood, and we're trying to create Disneyland through--guess what?! Another codependent, with yet another bad childhood.


All I can say is, thank God I have guidance like this.


Anybody in an affair, long-look astrological transits are very useful!!! HiLARiously, as I page back through them, I see a comment I wrote some seven years ago and double-starred:

"Look at years 2016-2023 vs. AFTER those years. In order for 2024---> to go well, IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL that we work SUCCESSFULLY in the right areas from 2019-2023: me in career, him in recovery. (I mean, look. He already did career, and I already did recovery.) Now we switch to the area that's hardest, not easiest, for us. Do well, and the relationship has a chance. Do poorly ..." 

That said, his good-leg transits tell me he HAS GREAT POTENTIAL TO MAKE PROGRESS. Um, probably by getting the hell up out of there, in part. And we're coming up on that time in his life, referenced by the nodal opp and Saturn square he has coming.



That said, WE DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE'S POTENTIAL. (And, if they can't get their asses out of there, there IS no potential.) 



My job is to just stay on track with this novel idea, accept my life the way it is, and understand that even when you get a good relationship ... disability, the nursing home, and death come to us all and I'm going to be right back here again anyway.



Might as well have another novel lingering around somewhere at the bottom of Wattpad to show for it.