The Thinking Other Woman

Dear You,

You might be wondering why you saw me recently. You saw me recently online because, although I told you to vamoose, I see that we're on the brink of never seeing or speaking to one another again ever, ever, in this life. I wanted to make sure you understood why I did what I did and how I really feel, here, and there ARE some entries below that will tell you exactly that. It's one last, "Hey, wake up. Come back. You're not worthless or hopeless. Neither was this."


If we really, truly are saying goodbye forever and ever, I wanted to make sure I did ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I could possibly ever, ever do to salvage any hope if there was any. I love you and I don't want to lose you. I want to make sure you understand that. If you can't leave, I get it, it's your family, you can't leave your marriage. So, don't. But don't go thinking I hate you or that you're some horrible person who's done some horrible thing. We'll never be together in this life. Okay. But maybe we can speak.

If you really, really can't ever get your head around this, okay. Goodbye forever. But I want to make sure this doesn't happen because you've got your head in the corner going, "Boo, woo, woo, she hates me, I'm no good." I left a couple of blogs here explaining where my head is at. They're called A Last Letter On The Eve ... and But I Never Really Left You. You can read them ... in fact, please do.

I just want to make sure we're not gone forever and ever because of any misunderstanding. Or that we leave each other thinking all kinds of awful things the other person must think about us or the situation, because of a misunderstanding.


If you see this and you don't make any kind of contact, I guess that's it. I tried, and I know I did absolutely everything I could possibly do. I can do no more. Something has to come back from the other side eventually, or there's just nothing there.


And if there's just nothing there, I have to cut myself loose and go. It's been eight years. 


What else can I do?


Always know you are loved.

--Me.