The Thinking Other Woman

I had posted this earlier, but I mixed natal things in the charts together with the transit that is about to come through: Jupiter hitting the apex of my yod and boomeranging his. I keep trying to pound and pound and pound into my soul that IT'S TIME TO GIVE UP. I know there's no hope here, and I'm about to receive incontrovertible proof. We all know twin flames just teach horrible, painful lessons and don't work out. Time to swallow that for good and STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.

I have one tarot reading here (not by me) that I do have a soul mate who wants to come in and work with me, but I have to let this one go first. He’s simply incapable, not going to get well from codependency and low self-worth in this lifetime, and there’s just no hope for this connection ever, ever again in this life. Ever. I’m being told: Give up. Forget it. Move on. And use this as a lesson for what not to do in the future. Use what was learned here so as not to miss the real thing later.

It’s time for a totally new me and part of that is being attracted to something different than what I used to be attracted to in the past. A truly reciprocal relationship is out of my comfort zone because I’m used to trying to nurse people back to health in order to be loved. I need to grow out of that and be attracted to and accept something healthier where I don’t need to do that … because I don’t have the power to change other people. The person I wanted is too weak to change and told me that at the very beginning, and I would not listen.

And he’s STILL too weak to change and I still don’t want to believe that, and that’s wrong. I need to change, grow up, unlearn this, let the sick people in my life fall into the past where they are determined to stay the way they are, and move into TOTAL NEW.


This is the place in the twin flame journey where the twin flames, if they've done the healing they were supposed to do while apart, could come back together. I've done my healing and I'm here, and I'm going to discover ... he hasn't done any, and isn't going to make the rendezvous. And that will conclude this chapter. At 64, he's about to hit senility and end of life issues. It's too late in life to make a change of partner, and what I'm told via tarot is this person is giving up and hasn't got it in him. Both twins needed to complete their tasks, and one hasn't and will not, so this is it. 

So, okay. I’m done. This person is GONE. Forever.

Personally, I really don’t believe I have anybody else coming, and I really am not looking for a relationship anymore. I see I’m going to be alone in my life from now on and I just want to know how to get really good at making my own self happy, accepting what there is in my life, and adapting myself so that I’m happy with only what there is and only what I can get.

But, this Jupiter is coming through and about to hit all three charts. What is it supposed to mean, again?

So, more quickly than the last two times (I put the slimmed-down transits in the post above this one for those needing better proofs), here's the summary of what I've been told:

She’s getting some kind of rude shock or test because she misjudged something; he has a big opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth, feels a drag back to the way he’s always lived, has to muster courage to be more self-determining, but could end up failing if he doesn’t plan, think it through, and barges ahead before he’s really ready.

And I’m finally finding out how something hugely important I’ve been waiting on is going to turn out. There’s a lot of emotion, communication, and a hit of good luck here. It might go badly and I need to use a lot of good common sense or I could end up disappointed and very, very sorry. (Again.)

(EDIT: You know ... reading this over, I am getting the CREEPS, here. I remember all those transits in the future talking about a marriage or partnership that is disappointing and not going well. And all I saw in the relationship yods [but never wrote up here] about not getting too optimistic or too pessimistic. COULD IT BE that this really does come back around ... but it's still BAD and I'm being warned off? Or those awful marriage transits come true and my life is ruined??)

(On the other hand, at least I'd get a writing career out of it. But then I remember that transit about being so let down I wonder what all the success was for. Now, THAT shit is SCARY.)

So, what’s really going to happen when this Jupiter comes through? Because nothing else comes through until Chiron and that’s a few years away.

As I said: My best guess is NOTHING. I'm getting no indications of any big turnaround. I'm already told this person doesn't have it in him and isn't even going to show up for this. And I can see that, because he hasn't been back in two and a half months, a new record for him. It would be sad if all this had really been preparation for a big change and a big breakthrough for him/us here and it all failed ... but that's exactly what's going to happen. We scheduled this ... but it's all off now.

You can see the significators that things could have turned around here, but: Although the tipping point is here--because, think, I would have to hear from him soon if all the stuff in 2024-2027 were actually going to come true--this guy has DISAPPEARED.

So, this is the place, and I will see that it’s a complete and total loss. All over.

I wonder if anything else will happen instead?

Hmm, maybe I’ll meet somebody else. I have NO idea how THAT would happen. If I do I will need to keep an open mind, and not compare that person to this individual I am saying goodbye to who has already taken his way out.

Maybe it will be something else entirely. I can’t imagine what. I don’t expect a big break in writing anymore—that ship TOTALLY sailed—so who knows?

Most likely it will be a totally normal couple of weeks. I’m remodeling, so I’ll be buying paint and trying to pay down bills so I can pay for new flooring and asbestos removal.

What I would most like to do is reform my living space so that it makes me happy, and then just settle down and be a little old lady in it. I would like to eat better and balance my days better and get more exercise. And I would like to meet something within myself that I can go back to in order to feel happiness, rather than expect a romance that isn’t likely to materialize to make me happy again.

I hope I can get back into writing. I would like to just figure out a good ending for the series I started on Wattpad and post it. If I can even get ten loyal readers I would be happy. I think it’s going to be very difficult to do even that. I expect nothing else from writing, and all I want to do is create a world I can go to and be happy in. I am old, and I’ll just be paying bills, working, and dealing with daily life from now on until my health breaks down and it’s time to go. So I just want to live happily in whatever little world I can build until I’m too old and sick to do so anymore. I try to picture myself doing these activities and feeling happy and content in the years to come, as my face wrinkles and my hair goes gray and I get stooped over and it's harder and harder to get around. If you can't picture it, you can't do it, right?

It's clear to me that if I want to be happy, I have to stop thinking about this relationship and this person. There's no need even to remember this person anymore. I can't help him. It doesn't  help me. It’s not going to amount to anything, and to live in regret over it for the rest of my life isn’t healthy and is just going to keep me sad and depressed. And I don’t want to be sad and depressed, I want to be free of all the bad things that happened in the past and feel happy with my life the way it is now.

So, I’m going to try, at least.

Really, there’s no need to expect anything with this Jupiter at all. Maybe I’ll have a slightly happier day than most.

That would be nice.