The Thinking Other Woman

So I'm listening to tarot readings, and I'm getting this weird one.


I get the choice to stay on this path or let it die and go down a new one.


Which doesn't make much sense, because this path is GONE and not coming back. And I sure as fuck don't see some wonderful new creative beginning ahead of me. I have no creativity and I've given up all the old ideas I used to have about what I wanted to do. None of those are any good. Nobody wanted or liked those.


Supposedly if I stay on the path I'm on I end up caged in somehow. (Which I can see if some unhealed codependent showed up and expected me to prop him up all the time.) I'm getting a "win" for an egoic reason and losing out on some knowing of my true self and some legacy I'm supposed to have or a soul's true purpose. Supposedly I'm supposed to receive more letting this relationship go because I get to receive instead of having to do everything for everyone else all the time. (That IS what codependents want you to do, isn't it?) That staying where I am is never going to be very rewarding. 


I'm supposed to discover some higher soul path if I bury him and move on. "My own personal mountain."


Um, okay, whatever. I haven't got one fucking CLUE what that's about. I don't see any future ahead for myself at all. 


In any case, pretty sure the decision's been made, and it wasn't by me. I don't have any idea at all how to be happy anymore or what's possible for me or what I can even go for or expect or want. All I can do is just go along doing my work, and if something that can actually work out shows up it does, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. Oh, well.


I think I picked the wrong pile.