The Thinking Other Woman

So, from the way this all has shaken out, it would be tempting for many to say astrology is bunk because we didn't end up together.

Ah, not so.

Sorry to burst the skeptic bubble, but wayyy too many things did happen that were in our transits to be coincidence. Astrology paints wayyy too many accurate pictures of our characters and what the dynamics were in the relationships. (I never did the relationship yods, come to think of it. There just didn't seem to be any point spending all that time on a person who wasn't here.)

And, even though the relationship is over and we didn't get back together, things go like this:

I'll see some reading where the tarot reader says, "You're going to hear from your runner!" and this will move me to go check the astrology. I'll see favorable aspects for contact (if you don't believe me, check out the page, "This amazing thing happened!" and the blog post, "This was amazing!") and then he shows up and reads a few pages.

Or, I'll see he was here and go back and look at the astrology and there they are ... favorable aspects for contact.

The next one is two days from now. I wouldn't be surprised if he creeps over here and reads a few blogs on Tuesday. But that's all that happens, and, given his character and circumstances, that is all that will happen.

The difference is, it's HIS CHOICE whether he wants to speak or not. And he doesn't want to speak. He doesn't want to leave his home, he doesn't want to leave his family, he doesn't want everyone to stop speaking to him, he doesn't want to never see his granddaughters and grandson again. (Maybe he and his wife even get along better now! Although, if I had to lay odds ...)

                                  Razors pain you,

                                  Rivers are damp,

                                  Acids stain you,

                                  Drugs cause cramp.

                                  Guns aren't lawful,

                                  Nooses give,

                                  Gas smells awful,

                                  You might as well live.

(Who was this? Dorothy Parker?) 

It's pretty bad that people can't make healthy choices for themselves, like leaving a bad marriage, without this kind of scorn and condemnation from people who think they know everything but don't.

Which, I suppose, is why I write what I do.

People are just goddamned ignorant. And they really don't care about anyone but themselves. (Of course, they're going to be goddamned ignorant when we pretend in order to please them all the time and we never tell them the truth.)

Anyway, I was writing about astrology. I should also include a word about "twin flames." It would seem there are some souls who incarnate together and who mean to get together, but too much shit is planned in the way and things may not work out.

These souls are not "half a soul" that cannot be happy without the other half. They just incarnate into bad childhoods and end up with twin wounds that mirror each other ... just like ours do.

Most of the time these souls have set rows that are too tough to hoe for themselves, and the relationship breaks up and never comes together again. This is all a matter of courage and personal choice. I'm the end of the yod with no power and no say, so I just have to accept other people's choices and move on.

So that's what I'm going to do.

I firmly believe after all this study that all this is footnoted in the astrology. If there is ever any interest, I will have to go back and note the transits. (Because I did all the initial notes while I was first learning, the names of the transits didn't mean much to me, and I took notes on the meanings and often didn't jot down the transit names. What a lot of work it would take to go back and put those into my notes! If I did I could diagram all this out. Is it worth the effort? Well, nobody much stops by here anyway, so probably not.)

But, seen end to end, I'm pretty sure anyone well-versed in astrology could see certain ones string together to tell a story ... two separate stories. Only one can come true, and in this case it's the separation one.

Usually that's the one that does come true, because these relationships are hard. Often there are huge obstacles in the way. They require that both people do the work in order to come together and stay together, but only one person not doing the work is enough to break them.

That line of transits, the one where we get together finally, is still there and always will be there. However, like the one where his wife buckles down and works in therapy and addresses the problems in their marriage, it will be the path not chosen. All I have to do is learn to ignore it, and just deal with the path I'm on.

If I could, I would be on that "together" path. But I can't, and it's not my choice, and there's nothing I can do about it.

In the end, I wasn't worth his adult children's ire and anger, and that was the end of that.

Nobody ever stops, however, to ask if this is fair. Not to me. I can always go on and find something else. To him.

Anyway, as I study more astrology, perhaps I will write more.