The Thinking Other Woman

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IF THIS REALLY IS YOU STILL SHOWING UP EVERY NOW AND THEN, I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on February 21, 2022 at 1:10 PM

So: I just unfriended my brother on Facebook. 

I guess that relationship, and every family relationship, is O-V-E-R.

Which, really, is a good thing. They were never really a family to me.


I thought, at the very least, me and my brother were sort of on speaking terms ... almost. But, you know, when a person writes online that he doesn't have any family to help him because they're all dead, and you direct message to ask if there's any news about your mother in the hospital and the person has read the message but doesn't answer ... um, oKAY.


For my part, I really needed to cool it on the stupid RethugliKKKan posts on his page. Turns out my mother has both positive and negative covid tests and my brother is sick with what sure sound like covid symptoms ... and all these people he knows (who are clearly RethugliKKKan) are posting drivel about getting ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine or whatever that other bogus remedy is they were all on about in the spring of 2020 that thinking people realize have been disproven a wayyy back yonder. I did post and respond harshly to that. And a couple of other posts. So some friend of his posts back REALLY rudely, and, you know, it isn't the first time.


Once upon a time, when I caught my mother posting out and out LIES about me on Facebook, and really bad ones, too, and I posted to set the truth straight and request that she stop it, friends of my brother ganged up on me online, having been obviously told half-truths. So, I wasn't surprised about this.


I finally just decided to unfriend him and end all contact with pretty much all family members, forever. There are a couple I might still speak to, but nobody on my mother's side of the family at all. I'm not going to know now what's going on with my mother or stepfather or anything. It's not that I don't care, but how to do anything without getting sucked back into that toxic, TOXIC relationship with my mother again, I don't know. Especially when you post up some ways you COULD help and you're ignored.


So, okay. I used to think, if I had a heart attack or got diagnosed with something terminal, I might let my brother know and I wouldn't expect him to DO anything, but at least somebody related to me would know where I was and what was happening, and I would have someone to leave valuables, like my condo and jewelery, to. I mean he would have no use for jewelry or a condo where I live, but he could sell them and get some money out of them maybe. Somebody would be around to bury me.


And now I see I won't have anything like even that, at all.


Which is sad, because I just spent twelve years taking care of old, sick, feeble, dying people in nursing homes and hospice. I know what people go through at the end of their lives. And I will definitely be going through all that all alone, with not a soul in the world who cares anything about me at all.


Yeah, sure, I have a couple of acquaintances, and I know people at work, but those aren't close people. They aren't going to love me or care about me the way a family or a close friend would. I have read that there are some homes for the aged that you can pay to look in on you from time to time if you are able-bodied and old and living alone, that will move you into their home for your last years when it's time, and I am really going to have to start looking into that now. IF I can even afford such a thing.


Because no one is left who gives even so much as a living shit about me.


Except you. If this really is you (and I don't see who else it could be) checking in here every few days, coming directly here on a cell phone and glancing at this blog, over seven long years when it's obvious there's no future for us, you're staying with your family and we can never speak or even see each other again, yet you're STILL here to check on me seven years later ...


Clearly there still is ONE person who cares about me. And here I've been mad because you're never coming back and I've had to give up on that.


Yet I know that, if I got a terminal diagnosis or something really bad happened to me, YOU are still here and YOU would care. And that really means a lot.


Every few days I check Google Analytics and see you were here, and it really means a lot to me. It really, really does. I'm sorry I was mad at you.


Even if it never can become anything else, it's good to know there still is a form of love that lasts.


I love you, too, and if something ever is really, really horrible, you know how to reach me.


Thank you. Take care.

Categories: Love., Current Happenings, Life Lessons