|Posted by P.D. Reader on March 7, 2020 at 3:00 PM|
OMG. I had hoped this glitch would get fixed, but no matter what, no matter WHAT I do, I cannot get this stupid blog feature to put paragraphs where I actually put paragraphs. No matter how many fucking hard returns I hit. Jesus Christ. I apologize. I'm very sorry. I'm going to try to separate paragraphs by putting underlining in like this:_________________________________________________________________________________ Last July, I pored over my chart. I saw so many aspects that looked as if something big was going to happen in the fall. I had hoped, of course, that it was going to be the person I started this website over in the first place. I had three big periods of heavy vertex hits last year: January, May, October. I think I've written about the first two elsewhere on here. The vertex is the axis of fated events and meetings in the life. So what was this October one about? ___________________________________________________________________________________ Wayyy back in the early days of 2016, I had looked at my chart and his and had a hunch that I was going to see him again in the fall of 2017. But I had only recently even started studying astrology and didn't have much of a clue what I was doing, so I hired professional Alice Portman of Adelaide, Australia, to look at our charts. She said the same thing._______________________________________________________________________________ And, in the waning days of October 2017, it happened.________________________________________________________________________ I felt a little more confident about my astrology as the years went on, and I looked at the upcoming transits after that myself. (Pros are expensive, after all.) As I've written elsewhere on the site, I saw a BIG SPLIT in the transits in both charts after 2017. _____________________________________________________________________ I could have continued to see the guy then, and there was a huge leg of transits in both charts reflecting an extramarital affair that started in 2018 and continued up through this year. But, as I teased this storyline out and followed it, I saw that it had a very, VERY bad ending. If I chose to accept the relationship back again in 2017, when I last had the chance, I would have found myself DUMPED next year. Been there, done that. Decided not to. ________________________________________________________ Not only that, had I chosen to do that, we wouldn't have grown any more as people. I would have remained stuck in trying to change and control someone else, trying to prove something about me, and as for him: If you want a codependent to get better, do not do anything to make him any more dishonest than he already is. He would have felt so horrible about what he was doing he had no choice but to go back to the marriage once it was discovered, and nothing that would have happened would have done anything at all towards encouraging him to go back to childhood, see all the toxic downloads he got then about his own lovability and the acceptability of his own needs vs. other people's, and do anything to change all that. It would have been all about stolen romance and sex on the sly, and trying to cover it up so no one found out. ___________________________________________________________________ When people have affairs, they do this because they think that's their only choice. But, it's never their only choice. You could go to therapy and decide whether to leave your relationship or not, and do it all above board. You could go to marriage counseling and try to fix your relationship. They did that. As I heard in 2017, that crashed and burned. He told me he still loved me._____________________________________________________________________________________________________ The other leg of transits in each chart are sort of sad. He's stuck in a bad relationship and struggling with codependency. I'm *supposed* to remain alone and throw myself into a creative project. (Which I did, but it doesn't seem to be going very well, and I'm about to give up on it.) I also looked at her chart during this time. As I've written in the Yod tab, her transits will basically be the same even if I've got the birth time wrong. What changes with birth time is not the configuration of the chart, but the houses all the planets fall into, which reflects issues of basic character. If I weeded out the transits talking about her finding out about the affair in 2018-2019, what I was left with were transits about a basically good life and a higher public profile (she got elected president of a certain social club here, which I foresaw in her horoscope a year and a half before it happened), but a stagnant relationship. I would say the transits split roughly half and half between each leg.__________________________________________________________________________________ So there goes the theory that there is no free will in astrology. We can definitely choose the road we're on. Back in 2017, I saw red flags and chose the road of no affair. So, all three of us are on that leg of horoscope transits.________________________________________________________________________ Except._________________________________________________________________________________ When I looked at all of her 2020's, I saw a curious shift. Suddenly, very, very few of her transits are talking about anything BUT the discovery of a very serious relationship problem and a love rivalry. She has a precious few talking about things like work and social life going well, and ALL the others are about a downright AWFUL relationship. Half of those specifically are affair significators, and half sure don't rule one out. I put them in the problematic relationship/no affair column because I could, but they could just as easily go in the affair column, they're that bad._______________________________________________________________________________________ Somehow, in 2020, this chart is pretty damn sure it's being cheated on._______________________________________________________________________________ What the--??_______________________________________________________________________________________ If we don't have the affair, how the hell does this happen? (Unless there's a fourth chart I don't know about.)______________________________________________________________________________ Either way, we've definitely broken up by 2022, and he's back with her again for sure. 2024 definitely looks like she gets left and we're together, and that looks permanent. Her transits from that point on just get darker and darker and darker. It's not ALL bad--she gets the Saturn trine Venus transit which, I've come to recognize, in her chart is the marker for, "If you've handled things right, here you COULD reconcile with your husband and have a good relationship." She had it in 2018 and from what 2017 sounded like, she wasn't heading in that direction. Of course �?� maybe they did. Who knows, maybe they found themselves a *competent* therapist this time and the 2018, "You've handled things well and here you can reconcile with your husband" transit actually did happen. She has it again in 2024. Maybe she won't need it. Let's hope so, because it's surrounded by a lot of dark transits that describe an important relationship ending and her reeling, trying to understand why. In between--2016 and mid 2020-2023, most notably--she has a number of transits talking about a good time to work hard in therapy and figure out what in her past is sabotaging her relationships. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ PUTTING THE TRANSITS TOGETHER_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ In 2016, they were in marriage counseling. I have it on good authority, she didn't use those excellent psychological work transits well at ALL. Hence, the visit I received in 2017. Maybe something happened after that, and things are okay now. If so, I will never know it. If not, it appears I was originally slated to, since the beginning of the affair seen in the transits in late 2014 into 2015 actually did happen, and the relevant transits held a strong suggestion of fate; that we had planned to come together and do this.______________________________________________________________________________ If we don't see each other this year, I find it very, very difficult to envision the 2024 and after reunion happening. I mean, come on. How are you going to reunite with someone you haven't even seen or spoken to in seven years??_______________________________________________________ So, the question is: Is the upheaval in her chart this year, when the chart suddenly sounds pretty sure it's being cheated on, just a leftover from the affair we didn't have in 2018-2019? Does it belong solely to the affair leg, or are the transits so pervasive in the chart because I see the guy again either way, whether I chose the affair in 2017 or not?_________________________________________________________________ There looked at that time like an awful lot of evidence that I would see him again regardless of what I chose then anyhow, so that helped me make my decision to stay out. She was behaving so abominably, it looked as if I could take the high road, not enable him in codependent behavior, stay the fuck out, and I'd see the guy again anyway. So, I rolled the dice, and that was what I did. If he were going to come back again no matter what, we're rolling right up now on the time when I would find that out._________________________________________________________________________________________ Ridiculous, right? I mean, who would make contact again with someone he hasn't spoken to in two and a half years, who said, "You want to stay married, and all we'd do if we saw each other again is have an affair, and we can't do that," at that time? Why would I ever even believe that?____________________________________________________________________________ ENTER: THE TAROT.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I also learn tarot cards, and I'm getting pretty good at those. Every time I've done a tarot reading on this situation, right up through last year, it looked pretty ugly for me and him. NO, the cards said, This is over. You don't see this guy again. My friend who's been reading longer than I have typically does her readings for the next three months. So, if this is the time, and I don't see the tarot cards flip out of this message, it's not going to happen. Ever.________________________________________________________________________________ Around the first of January, the tarot cards flipped. Suddenly, now I'm getting all these affair and reunion cards. What the--?? _____________________________________________ Not only that, but I also have a fairy deck given to me by a very good friend. The fairy deck has a year's spread divided by seasons, which delineates timing very nicely. At the change of seasons, I do a fairy reading, and oddly enough, the same cards come up over and over, for the same points in time at each reading I do. There's one called "The Fairy Lover" which comes up pretty consistently and seems to be referring to the married man in question._________________________________________________________________________ I do a fairy reading (on Valentine's Day, natch). What it portrays is me being alone through the winter, and then the Blank card comes up about April 20th. What does the Blank card mean in this deck: "The answer is unknowable," "It's not a good time to ask," OR: "The answer is obvious, so you're not being given another card here which would tend to confuse you."__________________________________________________________________________ After that time, a struggle is portrayed in which I need to do the opposite of what I want to do, refrain from violating spiritual law by killing anything or taking something that isn't mine, back off, and wait. According to these cards, the situation arrives late spring, is present through the summer and fall, and departs by this time next year._______________________________________________________________________ Which I would say was total GARBAGE. EXCEPT that's EXACTLY what I've been reading in my horoscopes since I first started learning in 2016, WITH the VERY SAME timing depicted therein! ____________________________________________________________________________________ So: What does all this mean??__________________________________________________________________________ EITHER I interpreted correctly the first time, and he was going to get fed up with the marriage in 2020 no matter what, and I would indeed see him again this year no matter what I did,_______________________________________________________________________________ OR, we had originally planned this and it was once a big event in all of our fates �?� BUT I elected not to do it, and all this is just the marker for where it would have been, had we elected to have the affair in 2017. The marker will come and go, and that will be the end._________________________________________________________________________________ WHICH IS IT???__________________________________________________________________________________ Seems I will find out sometime very soon. He has a perfect Venus square Uranus on the 20th of March (I'll let you look that one up!) Also: Sun conj Vertex, Mars and Jupiter squaring his nodes, North node trine Neptune and sextile Pluto. Then, April 20, I have a solar arc MC conjunction with Mercury and Venus and my North Node sextiling my Sun and Moon, while he has a solar arc Vertex conjunct Mars, DC conjunct Mars, and MC square Mars. Ahem. She gets a solar arc Vertex square Venus, a loose Vertex conjunct Chiron that looks worth mentioning, a Pluto sextile North node that's almost perfect by solar arc, a Uranus square nodes, and a North node trine Mars.____________________________________________________________________________ Markers for something we all changed our minds about that's not going to happen now, or X-marks-the-spot-HERE IT IS?____________________________________________________________ Either way, I have to accept it, because it's not up to me anymore.________________________________________________________________________________ Oh, and those hits I mentioned earlier? I went back and looked at my Vertex hits for October. They all involved Mars. I didn't really care what they were at the time, just that they were Vertex hits and that meant something fated.____________________________________________________________________________ After he didn't show up, I went back and looked up exactly what the Mars aspects are said to mean: "A surge of health."_______________________________________________________________________ You have to say I did experience that in October of last year. After not hearing from this person during either of the Vertex hit periods of January or May, October was when I was starting to think, "Well, it's just as well. I'd only have a person who couldn't tell me or himself the truth anyway, and codependent behavior just ruins relationships and lives anyhow." I still thought one day I'd have a writing career then, so it was easier to just count him as a bad influence on my life and move on and look forward to that._____________________________________________________________________________ Spring DOES last through June 20th. By then the Blank card will turn up.__________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why am I writing all of this anyway??? Especially when I have to contend with this hideous blog tool that does not recognize the hard return and I have to keep going back and putting underlining in and adjusting it to make this halfway readable???______________________________________________________________ I have found that skeptics often look at the fact that we astrologers locate correlations with events in charts retroactively, and call it, "confirmation bias." (I have also found that the term "confirmation bias" also tends to be thrown around a lot when people who don't know anything about a topic want to shut you up.) Here, I'm posting WHEN something was supposed to happen BEFORE it happens, so I don't go back and post about it later and get the "confirmation bias" label slapped on it. I've been seeing this stuff in all three charts for FOUR YEARS.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Now is when we find out if they happen, or not. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ In the meantime, I know I said I'd go back to the Yods tab and put the relationship yods up here. (They don't have yods; but he and I do, and SHE and I do!! What the--??) But, it sort of felt like a waste of time. Why examine charts that aren't present in my life?? I had also intended to go back and do a full analysis of his birth chart, which I actually have never done since I developed a "method of attack" for those, for the same reason. The guy's not here. Why waste my time? _________________________________________________________________________________________________ I may eventually go back and put the relationship yods up there anyway, because in every case they're instructive, if you're trying to learn how to read and interpret a yod. If he doesn't show, up, though, what's the point in taking his chart apart? My original intent was to see what the prognosis for codependency recovery in that chart actually is. Definitely useful if the person is in your life! (SHE might want to know! LOL! But, if he never shows up again, what do I care?) Eventually, however, I will put the relationship yods up.