The Thinking Other Woman

What you should know BEFORE your affair.


A Life of Meaning. What IS That, Anyway?

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on March 30, 2023 at 3:00 PM

The thing about tarot readings is, whether you believe in them or not, they make you think. 

The one I just posted talks about my life being like scorched earth for a very long time. Boy, is THAT ever correct. It also talks about the idea that thinking some other person was supposed to come in and be everything that makes a fulfilling life ... maybe not being the best ...

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So, I've Been Through the Entire Cycle, and It's Time To Start Thinking About My Old Age

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on March 26, 2023 at 6:30 PM

It's safe to say this journey is over. 

This person's announced his intention never, ever to return. I've been through the whole thing ... the loss of a cherished dream, realizing where I was scared, selfish, and using someone, hoping for someone to change who couldn't change (at least it was only eight years this time instead of thirty-eight), growing through the loss of youth and taking on the mant...

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But I Never Really Left You ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on March 19, 2023 at 11:35 AM

I don't feel bad about reposting this from the comment section of another post from an adulterer I'm following. It's a public post already written for all to see, regarding posts he'd made in which he keeps bemoaning leaving his marriage for a relationship "that has no future":

With regard to those sta...

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You Have to Take Your Married Man/Twin Flame/Broken Love Affair Together with Your Other Experiences to Get the Lesson

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on March 14, 2023 at 9:25 PM

Although astrology sort of hamstrung me in getting over this relationship (for, oh, EIGHT YEARS), I still value it for the perspective it helped me reach on not only this but the entirety of my life and why I've spent so very much of it unhappy.

To Explain ...

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Now He's Gone

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on March 5, 2023 at 11:00 PM

Well, the person this blog is about finally broke a record. He hasn't been absent here for more than two months in ... seven years? I think so.

But, now he's done it. Interesting that his last visit here that I can prove was December 30th. (I did get something weird on Valentine's Day, but who knows?)

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A Beautiful and Searingly Real Quote.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 26, 2023 at 4:50 PM


"Then said Almitra, speak to us of love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said, When love beckons to you, follow him. Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you, believe him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north win...

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End, Windup, Finish.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 23, 2023 at 9:05 PM

I have a comfy green couch that's destined for the scrap heap in just a week or two. 

I'm very sad about that, not only because I love the color, but because of the significance of this couch and how and why I originally bought it. I've had it almost exactly eight years.

Shortly after I and the pers...

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Easter Egg/When It's Never, Ever Going to Happen

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 9, 2023 at 6:35 AM" target="_blank">

Boy, Have I Changed a Lot Over Eight Years

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 8, 2023 at 4:20 PM

In about two weeks, it will be exactly eight years since our first "I love you"'s.

I don't think I care anymore.

It's as if over the past eight years, I've basically crumpled up every single little thing that made up who I used to be and t...

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Being Alone is Supposed to be Only a Place to Start

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on December 15, 2022 at 3:40 PM

                   The chauffeur's daughter's about to get dumped, a scene from Sabrina (1995).

Nobody much cared for the 1995 remake of Sabrina, mostly because the fabulous Julia Ormond wasn't Audrey Hepburn. Nonetheless, I found it a wise and gentle film, one I've seen dozens of times. ...

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Oh, well. OR: There's Just Nothing I Can Do About It.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on December 11, 2022 at 2:30 PM



The affair's been over almost eight years. I haven't even seen his face in over seven. We haven't spoken in five.

So, what the hell is UP with this???

Since I wrote "Let's Just Kiss and Say Goodbye" in April of t...

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It's Bad Actors Who Try the Hardest to Look Good

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 27, 2022 at 5:35 PM

Is This Me?

Walter Rhein was writing about divorced people when he said this, but if you're the Other Person in a third-party situation, I think it also applies.

The thing h...

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Well, THIS Experience Was Really Sad ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 23, 2022 at 10:15 PM

(And, you know, I know you're here so you might as well just read it. Sheesh.)

So, in my ongoing writing-about-infidelity career on Medium and YourTango, I often find myself railing against the common assertion that "Infidelity is ABUSE!!!" while the cheated-on person pretty much can treat the cheater A-N-Y way they please both before AND ...

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My Entire Life Has Been a Ghost Life

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 6, 2022 at 3:20 AM

I've heard, and it makes lots of sense, and I already knew this, that once you're a whole, happy person who's engaged in something they love that feels purposeful to them, you're just going to naturally attract the people who click, fit, are available, and feel right.

The trouble is, I can't do that anymore.

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An Open Letter to My Ex-Affair Partner

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on October 21, 2022 at 1:45 AM

This is going to be an “open letter” because this person doesn’t visit here anymore. I’m sure he won’t come back and will never see it.


I did this. I was the one who asked you WTF you were still hanging about for if you were never going to speak. But, from my point of view, I had to.


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This was amazing ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on October 16, 2022 at 7:40 PM

So, I wrote the previous entry, and I was very sad. I cried and wished more than anything he would come back and see that. I wanted him to know how I felt.


Like, almost immediately. I looked at Google Analytics, and there was an Android phone, coming ...

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I Know "He" Won't Be Back to Read This Anymore, But It Sure Is Interesting ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on September 26, 2022 at 12:00 AM

AND you can see this reflected in her horoscope, as I show on the yods tab. Also reflected in what I know of her background.

Hello? Or Goodbye?

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on September 22, 2022 at 3:25 PM

All I can say for sure is that something is going on.

I get a lot of tarot readings these days that assure the hapless viewer that the person in question is off thinking about their options and wishes they could return. I also get a lot that talk about the person being STUCK as usual, which, after seven years, bodes no good.

What I know is that the last visit here I know this person made was the 6th of September. He might...

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