The Thinking Other Woman

What you should know BEFORE your affair.


It's Bad Actors Who Try the Hardest to Look Good

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 27, 2022 at 5:35 PM

Is This Me?

Walter Rhein was writing about divorced people when he said this, but if you're the Other Person in a third-party situation, I think it also applies.

The thing h...

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Well, THIS Experience Was Really Sad ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 23, 2022 at 10:15 PM

(And, you know, I know you're here so you might as well just read it. Sheesh.)

So, in my ongoing writing-about-infidelity career on Medium and YourTango, I often find myself railing against the common assertion that "Infidelity is ABUSE!!!" while the cheated-on person pretty much can treat the cheater A-N-Y way they please both before AND ...

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My Entire Life Has Been a Ghost Life

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on November 6, 2022 at 3:20 AM

I've heard, and it makes lots of sense, and I already knew this, that once you're a whole, happy person who's engaged in something they love that feels purposeful to them, you're just going to naturally attract the people who click, fit, are available, and feel right.

The trouble is, I can't do that anymore.

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An Open Letter to My Ex-Affair Partner

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on October 21, 2022 at 1:45 AM

This is going to be an “open letter” because this person doesn’t visit here anymore. I’m sure he won’t come back and will never see it.


I did this. I was the one who asked you WTF you were still hanging about for if you were never going to speak. But, from my point of view, I had to.


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This was amazing ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on October 16, 2022 at 7:40 PM

So, I wrote the previous entry, and I was very sad. I cried and wished more than anything he would come back and see that. I wanted him to know how I felt.


Like, almost immediately. I looked at Google Analytics, and there was an Android phone, coming ...

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I Know "He" Won't Be Back to Read This Anymore, But It Sure Is Interesting ...

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on September 26, 2022 at 12:00 AM

AND you can see this reflected in her horoscope, as I show on the yods tab. Also reflected in what I know of her background.

Hello? Or Goodbye?

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on September 22, 2022 at 3:25 PM

All I can say for sure is that something is going on.

I get a lot of tarot readings these days that assure the hapless viewer that the person in question is off thinking about their options and wishes they could return. I also get a lot that talk about the person being STUCK as usual, which, after seven years, bodes no good.

What I know is that the last visit here I know this person made was the 6th of September. He might...

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Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on August 17, 2022 at 7:35 PM

Me: Creative Process Spread

Creative force behind the project: Nine of Swords reversed.

Imagination: Page of pentacles

Emotion: Two of cups.

Thought: Six of cups.

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MY NEW LIFE, book 2

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on July 10, 2022 at 11:55 AM

I can’t even express how painful the past two years have been ... understanding that all thirty years prior to that were nothing but narcissism and grandiosity.

The only good thing I can notice about that is that t...

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Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on July 2, 2022 at 8:20 PM


I last saw my ex-affair partner on here on April 26th. As I told, after I posted “Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye,” he came on in a flurry for a couple of nights, reading that and another one or two of my last two postings back and forth a few times—trying to figure me out, I think—and then stayed up all night April 18-19th, ...

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The Person I Had the Affair with Was Really My Mother

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 23, 2022 at 12:50 AM

Everyone experiencing a romantic relationship that isn’t going well: Quick! Pull out a sheet of paper and jot down all the ways your beloved and your most troublesome and hurtful parent are similar.


Something tells me the list will be long.


In my case: My ent...

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Well, I'm Out Of Here.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 12, 2022 at 3:20 AM

A question from two days on: Why did I even write this?? (Addendum written May 14th.)

Why did I finally decide to give up on you and chase you out of here?

Because I know that we're never going to spea...

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Living What's Left, Part 2

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 1, 2022 at 2:30 PM

Therapist Samantha Rodman Whiten, writing to a reader about treatment-resistant depression, writes:

"In a sense, if you know that every day will be gray and stifling, but you are still strong enough to exercise, parent, and write to me, then you may be very well suited to try and find a new and transformative purpose in your l...

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Good Grief.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 18, 2022 at 10:05 PM

Reality Really Does Bite.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 11, 2022 at 12:20 AM

 It Really, Really Does.

Recently I've finally done well enough to get a lot of old junk out of here that didn't work anymore, including an old secondhand entertainment center whose top sagged in the middle and an ancient, heavy old tube TV. Now there's a pretty, new, modern table in here, and, at last,...

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Let's Just Kiss, and Say Goodbye.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 9, 2022 at 10:05 PM

In about seven weeks, it will be seven years since I was dumped from this affair, and four years and seven months since I last spoke to the guy.

I have accepted that this person will never speak to me again. That I will never hear from, never see, this person, ever, ever again. Ever, ever, never.

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