The Thinking Other Woman

What you should know BEFORE your affair.


MY NEW LIFE, book 2

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on July 10, 2022 at 11:55 AM

I can’t even express how painful the past two years have been ... understanding that all thirty years prior to that were nothing but narcissism and grandiosity.

The only good thing I can notice about that is that t...

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Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on July 2, 2022 at 8:20 PM


I last saw my ex-affair partner on here on April 26th. As I told, after I posted “Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye,” he came on in a flurry for a couple of nights, reading that and another one or two of my last two postings back and forth a few times—trying to figure me out, I think—and then stayed up all night April 18-19th, ...

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The Person I Had the Affair with Was Really My Mother

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 23, 2022 at 12:50 AM

Everyone experiencing a romantic relationship that isn’t going well: Quick! Pull out a sheet of paper and jot down all the ways your beloved and your most troublesome and hurtful parent are similar.


Something tells me the list will be long.


In my case: My ent...

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Well, I'm Out Of Here.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 12, 2022 at 3:20 AM

A question from two days on: Why did I even write this?? (Addendum written May 14th.)

Why did I finally decide to give up on you and chase you out of here?

Because I know that we're never going to spea...

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Living What's Left, Part 2

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on May 1, 2022 at 2:30 PM

Therapist Samantha Rodman Whiten, writing to a reader about treatment-resistant depression, writes:

"In a sense, if you know that every day will be gray and stifling, but you are still strong enough to exercise, parent, and write to me, then you may be very well suited to try and find a new and transformative purpose in your l...

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Good Grief.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 18, 2022 at 10:05 PM

Reality Really Does Bite.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 11, 2022 at 12:20 AM

 It Really, Really Does.

Recently I've finally done well enough to get a lot of old junk out of here that didn't work anymore, including an old secondhand entertainment center whose top sagged in the middle and an ancient, heavy old tube TV. Now there's a pretty, new, modern table in here, and, at last,...

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Let's Just Kiss, and Say Goodbye.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on April 9, 2022 at 10:05 PM

In about seven weeks, it will be seven years since I was dumped from this affair, and four years and seven months since I last spoke to the guy.

I have accepted that this person will never speak to me again. That I will never hear from, never see, this person, ever, ever again. Ever, ever, never.

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Originally posted on Medium in 2019; reposted here so you can understand what's coming.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on February 19, 2022 at 7:10 PM

I just heard from my mother again after a lapse of about thirteen years.

For many years before that, my mother would bring problems with other people to me, expecting me to listen for literally hours on end as she went on and on about how badly someone had treated her.

I clocked her at three hours once, I'm not kidding.

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More thoughts, and bad news.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 29, 2022 at 6:15 AM

SO ... I forgot to check transits to our Davisons. (How could I??) This is for Valentine's Day, natch:


Our Davison: Jupiter sextile Moon, Uranus conjunct Moon (actually, that was exact on the 15th. As you know, didn't...

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It's In The Astrology, But It Will Never Happen. Why Not?

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 27, 2022 at 5:35 PM

So, the guy is long gone. I understand I will never see or hear anything from this person ever again. Who shows up again after seven years??? NOBODY. No one is going to suddenly leave their wife, whom they're about to celebrate forty years of marriage with, for a four month emotional affair whom they haven't seen in seven years and haven't spoken to in over four.

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I love you. If you ever come back, please read.

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 11, 2022 at 11:10 PM


I guess you read my last message and for some reason decided to stay away.

I don't know why. Maybe things are much better at home now, and you were only stopping by to check on me, hoping you didn't ruin my life and that I would just go on and find a way to become happy, as you are. Maybe things

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What Could I Have Done Differently?

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on January 3, 2022 at 6:00 PM

For the longest time, a married guy I had a four-month emotional affair with kept lurking around my website. 

Even when he started hiding behind a VPN, I figured out it was him, because he would go directly to a post or two I had made specifically to him when I was still trying to figure out if it was him or not, and he would read them over and over. ...

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I Passed Up The Opportunity To Take Up An Affair Where It Left Off

Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on October 21, 2021 at 11:40 PM

... And man, am I glad I did.

My four-month emotional affair with a married man ended six years ago last May.

I wish I could tell you that I went triumphantly on, that I met the love of my life, that I’m happily married now, that life morphed into something wonderful.

No. ...

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Posted by The Thinking Other Woman on July 22, 2021 at 1:45 PM

Hi. I know I write about studying the occult in respect to affairs a lot and most people believe it's crap.

However, mulling over what a reading says has, on occasion, CHANGED MY LIFE.

I realize now that both of us are working on developing and mastering FEELINGS OF WORTH.

I have to master feeling w...

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